Part 11: Update XI - It Made Sense At The Time

Update XI - It Made Sense At The Time



This area is a bunch of trees, a bunch of enemies, and not a lot of interesting landmarks. As such, it's kind of boring to talk about, but let's meander around and find the interesting parts. First off, let's head east.



Stop, Grandy - there seems to be nocturnal vermin ahead!

If only your text box wasn't blocking them...



That's better.

I see them... 1) Those are monsters! ATTACK! 2) Let's walk over to them. 3) Let's listen to what they're talking about.

Listening in is always a good option, it gives you more information, which is what you always want.

I don't know about you, but I don't find this fire to be particularly effective...
You speak truly, dear bone warrior... spend an hour looking for wood and now I'm not a lot warmer than before.
Calm down - just because you two are already dead and cold doesn't mean that I have to be freezing here. After that storm my fur is completely soaked and I'm freezing like crazy.

The werewolf here is actually freezing like a "Schlosshund", which literally comes out to "dog that lives in a castle". That term, however, is only ever used in idioms - "heulen wie ein Schlosshund" means to cry heavily. Here, it's instead used to make a pun - I don't think "frieren wie ein Schlosshund" is an actual idiom, at least I've never heard it used and can't find a reference to it.

Then go look for wood yourself next time! Then you'll be warm!
Don't be getting cute with me here, bonehead! After all, it's your fault that we can't stop in the inn even in this terrible weather.
Don't you start with that again! You insisted that I carry that folder, after all!
I thought that you could be trusted with that - I should have known better.
Gentlemen, please don't fight. That won't help us in our situation right now. The wanted posters are simply gone. And before we find them again we should avoid any contact with the duke's men...

These guys are the Morons. No, really. Internally, in both the game's code and the faceset files, these guys are defined as the "Deppen", which comes out to "morons". Anyway, they seem to have a problem, and we are professional problem solvers, so let's see if we can't help them.



HALT! Who goes there? Show yourself!
Hello, my name is Grandy. We're harmless travellers and just wanted to warm ourselves at your fire.
Not a chance! Get out of here, this is our fire!
Now don't act like you're the boss around here, alright? After all, we all got the firewood together.
It's alright, don't fight... may I ask what brings you into this godforsaken area?
THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! And now you'd better get out of here fast, or...
YOU HAVE REPEATEDLY BEEN ACTING OUT OF YOUR AUTHORITY! AND NOW SHUT YOUR HAIRY MOUTH OR YOU'LL REGRET IT!
Pardon my impetuous friend. We will gladly answer your questions...
That's nice... 1) Who is your master? 2) Can I help you? 3) ...but you're about to die!

Let's help these guys, I'm sure they're going to be grateful. The fact that those wanted posters most likely have our faces on it shouldn't pose a problem at all.

You look lost, or rather you look like you lost something... could we help you in some way?
That's a very gracious offer, sir. We really could use your help...
What's the problem?
My rattly colleague here has lost a folder that is very important to us. There were four wanted posters in there that we were supposed to hang up in Düsterburg for Duke Wahnfried. If we can't do that, death is certain... or even something worse...
Consider the issue solved, 1) because we'll find the posters! 2) because we're the wanted ones!

We really get a lot of opportunities to beat these guys up, but we won't take them.

That's quite confident of you. Be assured that we'll reward you well for this...

Looks like we found ourselves a quest. This will require us to bop around this forest area quite a bit, so let's get going.



New enemies! Not notable in any way except that they hit harder than others! Still pretty weak, all things considered!



Buried shit all over the place!

Looks like there's something buried here!
Hmm... a ring. I wonder if it's a special ring...



Yes, it is. It's a decent little magic power boost for Dankwart. Otherwise, not exactly special.



Now, as we go further north, we trigger a cutscene.

Dankwart, you know this area. What's north of here?
It's about two hours of walking to Castle Düsterburg. I however do not recommend using the direct path, which is surely well-guarded.
What do you suggest?
We could go east, which is where Castle Rabenstein lies. The lord of the castle, Sir Roland, was always a loyal follower of mine... maybe he could be an ally in our quest!
However, it could also be that the lackeys of the duke got to him first...
In that case, a trip to Castle Rabenstein could very well be fatal.
Anyway... north of here used to be a fairly well visited inn.
East of there there is an exit to an old escape tunnel from the castle somewhere in the forest... I never used it myself, but it should be possible to find the entrance...
You're the leader, Grandy! You decide where we go!
Your suggestions carry a lot of unpredictable risks with them, Dankwart...
I think we'll take a look at all of them and then decide!
Very diplomatic of you, the way you try to get out of that tight spot, Grandy...
Umm... Libra...
I've got a bad feeling about those suggestions that Dankwart made...
A bad feeling... I see... I'll try and remember that when I have the time...
Don't pick on him like that, mister holier-than-thou!
You'd better take the boy seriously, Grandy! He may be young and only recently came to our group, but I feel he has great potential.
Yes, I'm sorry...
Regardless, we should hurry. The duke surely already knows that his plan failed.



CHAPTER III: ON DARK PATHS

It seems like we're making decent progress, but the chapters aren't really the same size - they generally get larger from chapter to chapter, with the fifth one being a monster of a chapter that is split up into four subchapters. We're definitely not done with 40% of the game, and we probably haven't even made 25%.



Anyway, more monsters abound. These fuckers can actually poison you, but Dankwart has an anti-status-ailment spell, so it's not that much of an issue.








Going a bit out of order here - there's a bundle of stuff buried all over the place in this area, and it's not all that interesting. We find 6x holy water, an iron helmet, a rabbit pelt, an elixir (full HP/MP heal), 50 bucks (why) and a poisoned longsword (would be useful if we didn't have the two best swords we can get already).



Going back in order, we find the first of the four wanted posters rolling around here (that little brown thing diagonally left up from Grandy's position).



Evil black wolves abound here. Once again, a step up from what we've seen before, but not really interesting or tough.



The second poster is hanging from a tree here. From there we go up and find a tree that has definitely seen better days:



BY THE GODS! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TREE OF THE DENGELBRACKS?
This tree was planted generations ago by the first duke of Falkenburg. It's practically the landmark of our family!
Many claimed that it has magical powers. And just look what happened to it now!
Yes, I see it, Dankwart... well, even trees die some day...
NO! The condition of the tree must be related to the current situation...
OF COURSE! Dankwart, you old dunderhead, how could you have missed that the entire time?
What did you miss, Dankwart... I hope it's nothing that would worsen our current situation?



Take a look around, Grandy! Aren't you noticing something?
Pardon me, Dankwart, but I can't notice anything special...
The forest, Grandy! Trees, bushes, mushrooms, flowers... they all need light to exist, but there's no light here! This old tree is keeping them alive...
But there's barely any energy left in it. Should we fail and Wahnfried continues to reign here...
...then this region will turn into a desert within a year!

Well, that just raised the stakes.



Walking around a bit more, we find the third poster hanging from another tree.



Going to the north, we find the inn Dankwart mentioned was here, but we don't want to deal with the quest associated with that just yet.



We only peek our heads in and grab the final poster.



1... 2... 3... 4... seems like we found all the wanted posters!

Before we leave this general area, though, we start another sidequest...



...by talking to this fellow here!

Eeek! There's a monster standing right in front of me!
Calm down, Grandy. That's a Taurus from the Minoan Islands.
Those were the guardians of the massive labyrinths under the temple cities on Minos, right, Dankwart?

Seems like we've got a direct rip from Greek mythology here, except that Minos is an island instead of a king here.

Oh my, Libra! Your brother has incredible powers of comprehension! I just mentioned that story as an aside once.
That surely must run in the family, Dankwart!

I'm not sure if that was sarcastic in a way or if there's something I'm missing, because it seems a bit egotistical of Libra to basically be saying "yeah, I'm that great too". The way she says it made me think that Dankwart and Tarius would somehow be related, in a "he got that from you" way. Oh well.

What's this guy mumbling to himself about?
Ohcrapohcrapohcrap... that thing just has to be somewhere... maybe in the other pair of pants...
He seems to be looking for something.
Aren't you a keen observer of detail, darling. Excuse me, mister...
Mister...
Oh, pardon me, I didn't notice you. Could you do me a favor?
Figured that we're not getting out of here without another thing to do for somebody...

Grandy's starting to catch on here.

I'm not following, and I apologize if I may have insulted you, sir.
Don't worry, he just didn't get a whole lot of sun recently. What's your problem, sir?
It's a long and tragic story, if you want to hear it...
1) Go ahead. 2) Boooooring!

Story time, yay!

My name is Kima, and I'm an aspiring labyrinth manager in a small temple on Minos Beta. I was en route to Sarabia for a diplomatic mission and just wanted to take a shortcut over Königsberg... but then I lost something very important! A gift from my lover and mistress Ariadne.
Yeah, no problem. Just tell us which monster took it and we'll chop its head off. We'll be right back!
I fear the matter is not that simple. For the present was not gold or any kind of baubles. No, she gave me a lock of her silver hair as security of my faithfulness.
Show of hands for whoever's still keeping up with this guy!
You must know that her hair is woven out of a mystical thread. If I were to lay my hands on another woman, it would burn away. However, I just lost it and can't bring it back, so the proof of my faithfulness is gone!
Got it. You lost the thread and now we're going to look for it, right?

Originally I was going to point out how "den Faden verlieren" not only means literally "losing the thread" but also "losing your train of thought", but apparently, "losing the thread" is exactly the same idiom as in German. The more you know, I guess. I certainly didn't know.

If you manage to do that, I will give you the greatest treasure I have.

If I didn't know already, I'd say that given his priorities when it comes to treasures the reward will probably turn out to be something metaphorical. But no, we're getting an actual reward. It's useless to me and would actually be harmful, but for a regular player it'd be nice.

Now, now, Kima. We're usually just voluntary detectives and monster killers. We'll see if we can find your lock.



Nearby we run into Great Orcs. Not exactly bigger, just a bit stronger. Still not a real issue. Moving on, let's head north to the direct path to the castle.



Careful, Grandy! Not one step further! There's a barricade ahead!
That's a demon lord! One of the most terrifying creatures on this earth! We can't defeat that.
Maybe not defeat, but maybe we can talk our way through!
Have you considered the possibility that these guys were informed of our potential arrival?
Libra is right. We can't risk that.
Alright, then we'll retreat and look for a different way.



Now, let's get those posters back.

And, have you found them yet?
Yes, indeed - we managed to find all four wanted posters!
Excellent! You have our eternal gratitude.
1) Here they are! 2) First the reward! 3) We're keeping the posters!

I fuck up here because I didn't read far enough into the guide and give them the posters. The third option is just engaging battle because you're on the posters, but the second one is actually the one we'd want, as we then get the vampire guy's sword, a magic sword with evil, life-sucking magic. It's strong, but inherently inferior because of the fact that it's weak against most enemies in the game. However, it fetches a pretty penny when sold - about 10K bucks. Oh well.

Alright, you mugs! Enough lazing around! Let's get those posters hung up in Düsterburg!
You know, I'm not sure if that was one of my better ideas...

Yeah, probably not too smart. Better head back and pick those posters up again.



We find them scattered about the town in fairly obvious places and easily collect all four. Now, let's actually take a look at them, spelling errors relatively intact:



First off is Grandy. He's apparently got greasy hair, he's cros-eyed, he's got a big zit on his face, and his teeth are rotting.

This is the leader! The terrible Grändy! He has brown hair and is totally ugly... and dangerous... Rewart: YES!

ROTTING TEETH?
Oh, come on, Grandy. Out here in the wilderness you just don't get time to brush your teeth - that comes with the job!
I think it's pretty cute how the artist managed to nail your slight squint.

So the duke has called for a large search for us. Doesn't matter - if all posters look like this, we won't have any problems.



Next up is Libra. She died her hair and is wearing makeup because she's ugly.

Libra the licentious! Careful: Does magic! Goes into bed with evryone! Slud! Of her! Reward: Violate her!

Ah, going for the necrophiliac crowd. I guess since like half of the people interested in helping Wahnfried are already dead in some capacity, that's not that big a surprise. Also surprised at the usage of the word "licentious". That's a big word for the person writing these.

These guys are off their head!
Don't worry, Libra! We're sticking together! Nobody's going to get to violate you!
I'm not talking about that! How could they possibly get the idea that I've got makeup on? We don't even have a mirror with us!



Next up is Julie. She's got bad breat and drools.

The dok! Shits in the woods! Bites! Rewahd: Eat!

They want to eat Julie... I hope they don't break into our house.
I mostly hope that she's a bit restrained with her droppings...
...otherwise you'll have a lot to do when we get back home!



Finally, we've got Dankwart. He's got ears that stig out, a big schnoz and the beard an asshole would have.

Dankwart! A mean ubstart! Lies and cheads! Please kil him! Rewahd: Mutch!

Is my nose really that big?
Your nose has character, Dankwart! Just compare that to Grandy's little nose!
Am I a liar, or something? We just found a caricature of Dankwart and I'M the punchline?
Well, you are an inviting target...

Well, we've got these posters, where to bring them? Let's just give them to Thar, he'll know what to do with them.



Are you insane? You just waltz in here even though there's wanted posters of you all over town?
What? I walked all over the town and didn't find a single poster...
Oh... umm... well done!

That gives us a little XP. Might as well do it. Now, it's almost time to head to Rabenstein, but first...



...we're stocking up for war. 40 healing potions, 20 MP potions, 10 full heals and 10 revives, we're ready to go.



So let's do this shit. We're starting this at the end of this run of footage and totally not in the middle of it because I just happened to activate this cutscene by mistake while bopping around the forest, no sir.



We get a foreboding shot of the castle, which should clue people in that things are probably not all that great up there.

So that's Castle Rabenstein... doesn't exactly look inviting... there's no lights in the windows. It seems like the castle is abandoned.



We also get the return of the hand-drawn characters, which is also nice.

Indeed, Grandy. Well, I've said before that Sir Roland was always a loyal servant of mine... it could very well have been that he resisted the new duke and got a taste of his might.
Well... the only way we can find out for sure is if we visit Castle Rabenstein ourselves.



And that's exactly what we'll be doing. Next time, we're going to find out what went on in Castle Rabenstein, and you know it's going to be awesome! Well, not you, you don't know, but I know, and that's what counts.